28 Thoughts Whilst on Red

28 Thoughts Whilst on Red

A few days before:

1. My boobs hurt
2. It’s time for my period again?
3. My boobs hurt
4. *Checks period tracker* Ah, she’s slated to arrive 4 days from now
5. My lower back hurts
6. I want salt
7. My boobs feel full and heavy
8. I want sugar
9. Can you stop breathing? It’s bothering me
10. My ovaries are killing me

During period:

11. I feel as though someone is twisting their stiletto on my ovaries
12.These are “less painful” contractions to prepare me for child birth and I can’t even
13. This is the end, this is how I die
14. *Goes to bathroom to check for damages* Bitch, don’t you dare run late
15. *Spotting* Oh hello old friend. I didn’t mean to come at you like that but uh don’t get too comfortable as you won’t be staying long
16. *Pops pain killers* Ah, that’s better
17. Nope jk. My contractions are now 3 minutes apart
18. *Becomes irrationally irate at the string on shirt* WTF is your purpose?!
19. I’ll just curl up and die now
20. I think I’ll just adopt my kids
21. *Pills finally kick in. Passes out from emotional and physical trauma* 
22. *Wakes up from trauma nap to binge shitty movies and enter a YouTube abyss*
23. *Texts brother from room* Heeyyyy buddy. Don’t you wanna get me some McDonald’s? 

After period: 

24. It’s finally OVER. Sups glad I don’t have to deal with tamps for at least another 3 weeks
25. I’ve been bleeding every month for over a decade and haven’t died yet
26. I’m an unstoppable force
27. I can finally bring the cute drawers back out
28. *Plans life around next period date* Looks like I‘ll be missing brunch that weekend
 

Smells like...Confidence

Watching Training Day as an Adult

Watching Training Day as an Adult