Give Me Something Real
I have been in two serious relationships and both were comparable in what I received: “exclusivity”, semi-monogamy (well semi as they both cheated on me), someone to share my deepest darkest secrets with, physical stimulation and emotional support, etc. After my last relationship ended about 2.5 years ago and after a lot of healing, I decided to give dated try. The thing is, dating is SO different today. It’s all about playing the game of who can out savage the other. God forbid you show any kind of emotion. People assume that if you are vocal about your feelings, wants, and desires that you are weak and clingy. The fact is you are strong, in tune with your emotions and secure enough to vocalize them. Granted there are appropriate ways to express yourself where you don’t come across as a stage 5 clinger, but I digress.
This year I’ve dated a few guys, some seriously and the others were merely for company. Though short lived, those situationships aided in my navigation of what I want in a relationship and where I’m willing to compromise. I learned that what I really crave is real intimacy. For most, when I say intimacy we automatically think sex. Yes, sex can be great and is the closest you can physically be with someone but I’ve learned that I really don’t need sex. I would much rather stay up all night to discuss everything and nothing at all. I crave someone I can be completely myself with, share my “weird” quirks with, someone to encourage and motivate me when I feel overwhelmed, etc. Actually, I really don’t want a relationship rather a partner. When people enter relationships, it becomes an accessory of some sort, buying a ring that’s shiny and new. Over time, what you thought was platinum begins to rub away, exposing the copper filling and you find that you’re allergic to copper. Not I. I want to take my time, read the fine print before I buy the ring. Compare the ring to the bracelet, see which one fits and compliments me.