But did you ask my dad?
Whilst browsing my Facebook timeline last week, I came across a think piece titled “If he asks your dad before he asks you, you shouldn’t be marrying him”; my initial reaction was the unamused emoji face and an audible “girl whet?” I'm easily entertained so I was caught on the shiny hook and tapped the clickbait. I only read half of the think piece before saying “this is the dumbest sh*t I’ve ever read”. Based on the portion of the think piece I read, essentially the writer wanted to convey the message that women do not belong to their fathers/not his property and you’re an tax paying and insurance having adult that can make your own decisions without anyone’s influence or permission. While I see the point she wanted to communicate, I disagree with the notion that a man shouldn’t ask a father for their daughter’s hand in marriage. Technically, you and your significant other should have already established whether or not you’re going to get married. Once you and your S.O. are set on marriage, that’s when he asks your father.
As the writer stated, in the old days, marriage was treated more like a transaction than a joining of two people in love. Daughters were sold and given away as a means of gaining wealth for her family. Again, I completely understand what the writer orated but being the concrete relationship I have with my father, I gather it as respect. you have your father that has been the number one man in your life now retiring that title and transitioning it to another man. I can only imagine how difficult that process will be for my dad. But what I do know is, whomever wants to marry me WILL ask my father out of sheer respect for not only him but for me.
Now if you couldn’t tell by now, I am a daddy’s girl and strongly respect my father’s opinion but as the writer stated, I too am my own person and can make my own decisions. But what I’ve learned while dating is there are times, hell a lot of times, my family detected sh*t about a boyfriend before I did. To be frank, if my father flat out told my boyfriend “no”, I would recognize that as a red flag and reevaluate the whole relationship. I can’t speak on other families, but mine has yet to steer me wrong when it comes to the men I’ve dated. Whenever the time comes for someone to propose, better believe the first thing coming out of my mouth is “did you ask my dad?”