27 Thoughts Whilst Running Your First 5K

27 Thoughts Whilst Running Your First 5K

Before the race

1. Should I eat before I run or will I end up throwing up my life?

2. Headband or no?

3. Wait, do I even own a headband though?; moving on

3. Let me put some extra deodorant on because I will be sweating something nasty

4. Let me put on matching leggings and sports bra

5. Should I get a bit of a start and walk to the L or shall be a lazy bum and take an Uber?

6. L it is!


At the race

7. Lawd it's hot af, hope I don't pass out

8. There's so many people out here bruh, there's no way all of them love running

9. Why didn't we get matching t-shirts like everyone else?

10. I can't find our tent. I’m lost, I need an adult to assist me

11. Ah there it is. Knew I could find it

12. But alas no one is here

13. Guess I'll just slide on in at the start line


While running...

14. This isn't too bad

15. Sho wish the walkers would move tf out the way so us runners don't gotta be zig zagging,  bobbing and weaving through the crowd and shiiiii

16. Why does she have on slacks? I know she hot and range of motion is limited

17. Yessss little old man, give me all the life with your short shorts, crop top and sweat band!!

18. Mile one down; that was easier than I thought

19. (music in headphones) “I need a one dance, got a Hennessy in my hand”

20. Hell I wish I had a Hennessy in mine

21. Mile 2 down

22. Brain: “Keep going guh, only 1.5 miles to go.”

23. Body: *laughs uncontrollably*

24. Well at least I ran two miles straight

25. Finish line, is that you I see over the Himalayas?

26. Fin

27. Now where's the alcohol?


Gaslighting: Extinguish the toxic flames

Gaslighting: Extinguish the toxic flames